The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black
by LysCooper
Summary: Apparently, Lily is having a rather bad week, she keeps meeting Sirius' relatives...
1. I see you've met my mother

Once again, I don't own Harry Potter, any of the characters, Hogwarts...just this little skit...please R/R...

Lily looked down at the note her owl had brought her.  
"This is the place alright, number twelve Grimmauld Place."  
She looked at the door, sighed, and then walked up to it. Her eyes scanned the area around the door, there wasn't a doorbell. There was, however, a doorknocker which looked quite like the Slytherin serpent. She reached up timidly and proceeded to knocking on the door. The door slowly swung open.  
"What do you want, girl?"  
"Excuse me, but are you Mrs. Black?"  
"Why yes, I am."  
"Is....Sirius home?"  
"Yes, are you a friend of his? From school, I mean?"  
"Uh, well, yes...."  
Sirius' mum walked to the base of the stairs and shouted up.  
"Sirius Black! Get up you lazy bum! There's a girl from Hogwarts here to see you."  
There was a loud thump as though her yelling had caused Sirius or someone else to fall out of bed. Moments later, Sirius' voice came down the stairs.  
"Who is it, mum?"  
Mrs. Black turned back to Lily.  
"What did you say your name was?"  
"Lily, ma'am, Lily Evans."  
Mrs. Black's eyes narrowed now as she looked Lily over very carefully. She was wearing a jersey from a local football team and a pair of jeans.  
"Sirius Black, get down here right now!"  
Footsteps slowly trudged down the stairs. Sirius turned the corner into the room where Lily stood.  
"Oh, hullo Lily, is James here yet?"  
Sirius' mum turned on him suddenly.  
"How dare you, Sirius Black, how dare you invite common mudblood filth and blood traitors into this house! What kind of example are you trying to set for poor Regulus?"  
Sirius turned to Lily, who looked quite shocked.  
"Just tune it out, I've been doin' it for years."  
Mrs. Black's eyes flared red for a moment.  
"Out! Get out of here! You are never welcome back here, Sirius; I no longer number you as one of my children. Get out!"  
Sirius smiled.  
"I've been waiting to get out of here for years."  
Sirius walked out the door with a huge grin on his face and saw James standing there.  
"Hullo, Sirius, what was all the yelling for?"  
"Yelling? Oh, yeah, Lily met my mum. So Lily, what did you think of the most old and noble house of Black?"  
"You mean the most old and stuffy house of pureblood fanatics?"  
"My thoughts exactly..."


	2. My git brother, soft enough to believe t...

Here's chap 2, folks. It could be a while before the third and final chapter is up (I'm going to camp.) grins evilly I chose an extra special Black for the last chapter...bet you can't wait. You know the drill, I don't own HP, I'm not J K Rowling, only the skit is mine. Please R/R and thanks to all the people who reviewed before. Let me just say, chap 1 was meant to be the whole story but people were asking for more and so it comes.

Lily sat down next to James in the Three Broomsticks. She held the mug of butterbeer with both hands and listened to the marauders discuss the latest news of the Dark Lord.  
"Evans, did you hear the news?"  
"What, Potter?"  
"Voldemort, calm down Peter I only said his name....What was I saying? Oh yeah, Voldemort killed a bunch of muggles two days ago."  
Lily's eyes went wide.  
"The mass disappearance..." she muttered. "It was on the muggle news."  
Sirius looked about quite suddenly.  
"Look who it is, my snake-loving little brother..."  
Lily cocked her head to one side.  
"I hope you mean he's a Slytherin."  
"That's exactly what I mean."  
The boy walked over to the table they were all sitting around.  
"Hullo Sirius, I hear mum finally kicked you out. Cousin Bell's been dancing a jig."  
"She would..."  
"You gonna introduce me to your little friends, Sirius?"  
"Sure...Regulus, friends. Friends, Regulus."  
Lily laughed a little and then made a real introduction.  
"I'm Lily, this is James, that's Peter and that's Remus. It's very nice to meet you, Regulus. Sirius never told me he had a brother."  
Sirius rolled his eyes.  
"Evans, stop being nice to him."  
"Why? Just because he's a Slytherin means you're going to be nasty to your own brother? You're as bad as the rest of your family."  
Sirius stood up, glaring at Lily, and pulled out his wand.  
"Say that again, Evans."  
"I said –"  
James slapped his hand over Lily's mouth and the rest of her sentence was garbled. Regulus looked back and forth between his brother and Lily.  
"Lily, Sirius, stop it." Said James rather angrily. "Can't you at least try to get along?"  
Sirius grumbled a little but put his wand away and Lily smiled at him. Regulus looked at Lily.  
"You've got spunk alright, if you'd take on a Black, even a disgrace like him. You'd do well with my friends."  
"Your...friends."  
"You must know of the followers of the Noble Lord!"  
"Noble...Lord."  
"The Dark Lord, I daren't say his name for I am not worthy."  
"Are you asking me to join the Death Eaters???"  
The shock was evident on Lily's face as she stared at Regulus. Sirius ducked into the nearby bathroom, but you could still hear him laughing. James had his hand on his wand and was about to pull it out when Lily gently grabbed his forearm and whispered "Let me handle it."  
"I'm very sorry. Regulus, but I can't really join up owing to a rather strong urge to remain alive."  
"What does that mean?"  
Lily stood up, giving the others a look that said 'follow me.'  
"It means that a muggleborn like myself would have to be purely suicidal to join the Death Eaters, you buffoon!"  
Lily grabbed her jacket off the back of the chair and ran out into the street. Once James, Sirius, Peter and Remus had found her, they all started to laugh anew.  
"I don't know who's stupider, my git brother for asking _Evans_ to be a Death Eater or Evans for telling my git brother she's muggleborn when he's obviously a Death Eater!"  
Lily walked over to Sirius, slapped him and then sat down beside James with a huge smile on her face.


	3. D’you think I’m proud of having family l...

Well, here's chap 3...have fun...its short. But I saved the best....worst...for last. I still don't own HP and I'm still not J K Rowling. Please r/r and thanks to the people who have been r/r ing and suffering through my first story with chapters. This is the last chapter.   
  
Lily and James sat beneath a tree, leaning against each other working on their summer school work.  
"Well, isn't that just cute. The bloodtraitor and the mudblood."  
Bellatrix Black stood in front of them, her hands on her hips and her wand in her right hand.  
"Go away, Bellatrix." Said Sirius, appearing from behind the tree.  
"Look, it's my disgrace of a cousin. I can see why my aunt kicked you out of the family, what with you associating with mudblood-filth and bloodtraitors."  
"Leave my friends, Bellatrix."  
Bellatrix smiled evilly, held up her wand and launched a red flash of light at her cousin. He dodged it and pulled out his wand.  
"Petrificus totalus!" cried Bellatrix.  
Sirius' legs snapped together and his arms snapped to his sides. Lily jumped up and pulled her wand out.  
"Expelliramus!" she cried.  
Bellatrix's wand flew backwards out of her hand and she glared at Lily.  
"Filthy mudblood, you dare turn your wand on a pureblood? On a Black?"  
James stood up and pulled out his wand.  
"Leave her alone, Bellatrix. Get your wand and get lost."  
Bellatrix glared at James and turned to go get her wand.  
"Finite incantatum." Said Lily, pointing her wand at Sirius.  
Sirius shook himself out.  
"Don't mess with us, Bellatrix, you may be loyal to Voldemort but someday he'll fall, someday we will win."  
"Don't make me laugh, traitor, as if a bunch of mudbloods and mudblood-lovers could possibly defeat the Dark Lord."  
"You'll see, Bellatrix. I bet James'll be the one that beats him, or Lily, probably Lily."  
Bellatrix stared at them in disbelief and held up her wand level with Lily's head. James, Lily and Sirius all held up their wands.  
"Leave now, Bellatrix, before we have to hurt you, leave."  
"I don't need your pity, mudblood."  
Bellatrix spat on the ground.  
"You will regret the day you turned your back on the Dark Lord, Sirius, I will see to it that you regret it." 


End file.
